It's not new news that I have decided to do something about my unhealthy weight, and yes my weight is dropping as I seek to "do the right things consistently". (Woohoo!)
However in more recent news, I have become wildly obsessed with weighing myself.
It really is a strange phenomenon. Months ago I avoided the scale like the plague because it made me uncomfortable to see that I was gaining weight so quickly.
However, somewhere between 228 and 207 the scale became to me what a drug dealer is to an addict. The scale supplied me with the highest of the highs as the number on it became lower and lower.Weighing myself once a week seemed foolish after awhile. Who wouldn't want to receive such euphoria daily or multiple times a day?
Then, the scale turned on me.
"210! What!?!? I was just 208 this morning!!". Yup, that was me.
My patient husband would say something like, "Didn't you just eat lunch? I wouldn't worry about it if I were you."
Somewhat relieved, I would agree. However, the real relief was when I weighed myself again.
Scary isn't it?
The scale was offering me more than a number. It was offering me validation. Every time the number dropped, I knew that my work was paying off....that I was being successful...at something (other than the many ways that my husband praises me).
The more my weight dropped; the more my self esteem rose.
God is working on me though. He really is. One of the cool things about about having a relationship with Jesus is that He deals with every part of us. We, Christ followers, do not always yield, trust, or obey, but who He is never changes. He never stops seeking us out.
I say all of that to say this. Jesus cares about my scale obsession because He cares about me. He cares about you too. He wants us to find our meaning and purpose in Him. Jesus validates us. Being His is supreme. Who am I in Christ?
I am God's workmanship (Ephesians 2:10), chosen (John 15:16), dearly loved (Colossians 3:12), more than a conquerer (Romans 8:37), and saved by grace (Ephesians 2:8).
So, yea...who I am in Christ is immeasurable. I am not a number on a scale. Please get this though. I am not at all trying to say the that weighing yourself is sinful or evil....really I am not. I am not telling you to stop getting on the scale everyday either. Weigh yourself as much as you would like. The scale is an excellent tool to help us stay accountable. I know I need a checkpoint, and the scale is just that. It is an effective reflection of recent habits, though it's not perfect. The problem was not the scale, but that I was seeking something from it that could only be found in Christ.
The scale fluctuates (heck, I can be pretty shifty too), but His purpose remains.
Therefore, iDare to seek Christ daily, and weigh myself weekly.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.