Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Did somebody say DONUTS? BL12 ep2

Hello! It's that time of the week once again. T'was a somewhat action packed 2 hours of The Biggest Loser last night. The show opened with a brand spankin' new theme song by Train. You can check the song out right here. After some hype on the interwebs about the premiere of the new theme song, the moment was pretty "anti-climatic" (in the words of THE Biggest Loser blogger Jen Wielgus.) The song was only faintly heard in the background because they played scenes of the trainers yelling at their teams over the track. Oh well. Nothing was really gained or lost (no pun intended) with the new addition. 

Moving on. 

The opening scene is at the ranch. All of the "losers" are either seated or standing around the dining room table. Vinny, who sings in a band in the outside world, has his guitar out and is singing a ditty worthy of entertainment. The cast is giggling and chuckling, clearly amused by the song. His lyrics speak of higher inclines on the treadmill and etc. It was kinda cute. Then, with a "Good morning everybody!", Alison Sweeney  enters asking for three volunteers, one from each team of course. Vinny steps up for the Red team (under 30s), almost immediately. Mike from the Blue Team (50 and over) also volunteers along with Antone (former NFL linebacker) from the Black Team (in between). They are led into a room that Vinny describes as, "Homer Simpson's Hideaway". It's probably more so like Homer Simpson's Heaven. The walls are painted a strawberry cream like pink with chocolate brown literally dripping from from over head. Ridiculously large donuts are hung everywhere. The piece de resistance being a large glass case with every type of donut that you could possibly imagine. Man oh man. It ALMOST makes me want to pull out my fryer again. lol! I digress. Over the top of the glass case are three plates of DONUT HOLES (MMmmm) separated by some sort of make shift divider. It's clearly temptation challenge time. Here are the highlights of the challenge. The majority of losers choose not to eat the donuts at all. (Good job!! Woohoo!!) Game play begins as some losers decide to fake eat donuts to psyche out the other competitors. Joe decides to "make some noise and drink a lot of water", but the other team mates can see right through the act. Ramon (RED) literally smashes a few donut holes into the table (good thing since he finds out later that he is a diabetic). Johnny decides to try to fake out his competitors and begins making some noises not suitable for network television. Joe decides to do what he can to make sure that he has control of this challenge. YOWSERS! The challenge ends with Alison Sweeney saying, "Stop. Please stop." Here are the final results Blue Team: 11 donuts for 385 calories all consumed by Mike, who said that this would be his lunch. (Well played Mike. Well played.) Black Team: 37 donuts for 1,295 calories all consumed by John. (The red team was not mentioned.) John said he felt embarrassed and like a fool. Blah Blah Blah. He's playing to win and he knows it! 

Oh yea, I forgot to tell you what they are playing for. This week the teams are limited to working out only 2 hours a day. There are 3 time slots, and each team will have to stick to their time slot. 5-7am, noon-2pm, or 9-11pm. The winner of this challenge is the team that consumes the most donuts. They will get to choose the time slots for all of the teams. Alright. Since Team Black won, they chose the 5-7am time slot. They gave the blue team their desired slot of 12-2pm. When asked Why, John simply and unapologetic-ally  said, "I respect them." Ouch. The red team gets offended. 

The show moves on. 

What happens next is probably the best thing to ever happen to The Biggest Loser (besides Ms. Michaels herself). Bob Harper invades the ranch at 4:20am, with a megaphone. "Is there a black team up here?" he asks. Then he peruses the hallways screaming,"Wake up!". Then as he arrives into the ladies room, (bedroom that is) he breaks into song. Song. and dance. He sings (using that word very, very loosely) "Good morning!" while rocking side to side and bobbing his head. He then proceeds to grind dance in ways umm...not suitable for network tv. Hilarious. Sorry. It was. 
He brings them into the gym. A lot of regret is shown by the black team, but not at all by Bob. "Yep. I am so glad that you ate 37 donuts so you can work out at 5am in the morning." he says casually as he walks their tails into the gym. The workout is classic Bob Harper style but with a crazy twist. The twist is Bob. It was like Bob x1,000,000,000. He was singing, dancing, and full of evil laughs. Antone falls off the spinning bike with pure emotion. He is giving his all and it's obvious. Bob and Antone have a heart to heart. Bob says that he expects greatness out of him. He vows to push him to the max. Antone seems ready for change. Go Antone Go!!! The working out resumes. Then, a little bit more drama ensues. Sunny says that John (aka Donut Man) called her dumb. she was offended. Bob encourages her to talk it out with her team. Consequentially, a little tiff occurs outside, but nothing major. At the end of the day, they kiss and make up. Figuratively of course. 

Blue Team hits the gym. Bonnie keeps pushing though she only lost 4lbs last week. She has a bum knee, but keeps trucking to the best of her ability. Johnny claims to be having a heart attack a few times. He asks for breaks. a lot. Debbie from last week comes to mind. Anna Kournekova is pushing her team, but let's be honest. Anna has her work cut out for her with the oldie but goodies. On a brighter note, Becky is a freakin rockstar. She works, and looks clearly out of place among her the best way possible. 

Dolvett enters the ranch in this next segment. He wants to know where his red team is calorie wise to make sure they burn the "appropriate" number of calories (oh the mystery!). Then after a Yoplait product placement, it's time to hit the gym. Dolvett works the crap out of his team while the other teams are fast asleep. According to Patrick, Dolvett's "crazy switch" goes off in the gym. This is true, and I love the quotables that occur as a result. Dolvett's warmer side comes out when he has a heart to heart with Jessica. She was in a relationship for 6 yrs, engaged for 2 1/2. Apparently, the ex brought her closer and closer to food so that she would gain weight in order to appease his jealous streak. Deep. Jessica broke up with him last year after gaining 135lbs while in their relationship. It's a new start for her. 

Dr. H makes an appearance this episode. He not only gives the guests a reality check. He takes reality, opens their eyes to the facts, and shoves it up their butts (Sorry. That was an Office reference. lol LOVE that show.) He tells the beautiful (and injured) Jennifer that she is very likely to become a diabetic. He tells Ramon that he is the "sickest person on the ranch." After diagnosing Ramon with diabetes among other ailments, he also tells him that he is not going to sugar coat the truth. Ouch!! Ramon cries. I cried. It was a tough segment. 

Okay, challenge time. This challenge was a floating pinball maze in the pool. They were tasked with using their weight to guide the ball into the hole. The team with the fastest time gets a 2lb advantage. The team in second place gets a 1lb advantage. Surprise. Surprise. Black team wins first place with a time of 7min 42 sec. Red team gets second place with 7 min 45 sec. Blue team secures third place with 14 min 45 sec. 

I LOOOVE the Last Chance Workout.  Mainly because it reminds me that I too, can push myself. If they can do it. Why can't I? Also because the trainer quotables are at an all time high during the LCW. They come up with the most clever and motivational phrases. Here are my favorites.
"The Last Chance Workout doesn't go for 2 hrs. It goes for 22 hrs." - Bob 
"I want to see every member of my team give 1million percent." - Anna 
"The challenge for me right now is to think, 'Can I burn  as many calories in 2hrs like I burned in wk1 when I had 5 or 6. Can I? Can they?' You know what? I think we can!" - Dolvett
"I just always assume that everybody around me is running on all cylinders, and I've got to do exactly the same thing." - Bob 
However, the quote of the week goes to...Dolvett!! Here's the winning quote. 
"It hurts to look good. I'm in pain everyday!" Well, if The Biggest Loser doesn't work out for Dolvett I think a T-shirt line for his already successful fitness center in ATL, would be a solid plan B. I'm just saying! 

In other news, we find out during this Last Chance Workout that today is Mike and his wife's 38th wedding anniversary. Aww...

Last, but not least is the weigh in. Here are the results by team. 
Vinny  -5 (405 to 400)
Jessica -7 (239 to 232)
Courtney -7 (254 to 247)
Patrick  -6 (367 to 361)
Ramon  -9 (339 to 330)
Total 34 lbs +1lb advantage = -35lbs

Joe -2 (326 to 324)
Jennifer -6 (311 to 305)
Sunny -6 (261 to 255)
Antone -10 (415 to 405)
John -15 (408 to 393)
Total 39lbs +2lb advantage = -41lbs

Becky -5 (228 to 223)
Mike -7 (297 to 290)
Bonnie -3 (250 to 247) 
Johnny +2 (311 to 313)
Total -13lbs 

After little deliberation, Johnny from the blue team is sent home. He leaves with a silly little song that he himself wrote and sang about the next time we see him. His footage from home is impressive as he is walking pretty much everywhere and has lost a total of 59 lbs so far. Good job Johnny! This year all of the eliminated contestants return to participate with the remaining participants in a marathon. Whoever wins the marathon gets an automatic slot in the finals. So who knows, maybe Johnny will surprise us all! 

That's all for this week's episode. 

Geez. Blogging is hard work. I'm ready for a donut ;)  jk! lol 

P.s. Please check out my new blog BL Parables where I seek to tell The Truth in a way that The Biggest Loser could understand. Thanks a bunch! 

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